Toxic Relationships

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Here in the social media world people tend to share the BEST moments. The times when they feel the most beautiful. The times when they are smiling ear to ear. The times when they are in love.  The times when they are high on life.

It is so easy to get caught up in the social media world and beat yourself up for your life not being perfect. However, no ones life is as perfect as they make it out to be. I have had moments when I wear sweats and last night's makeup to target. Nights when I cry myself to sleep. A phone call that delivers devastating news. A bad day at work that leaves me feeling run down and defeated. A morning that you feel like you have NOTHING to wear in your closet full of clothes. And I'm sure you have to...

This is a hard and very emotional topic for me, but something I want to shed light on. Maybe a family member, friend, or even you have been in a toxic relationship. From personal experience, I am fully aware how hard it can be to see that this person is not good for you while you're in it. Your friends and family can tell you all they want, but you just continue to ignore the signs.

A toxic relationship breaks you down, makes you question who you are, causes unnecessary stress and anxiety and can leave you feeling downright worthless. I have been there, girl. But let me tell you, once you get out and have a few months of clarity, you will realize how wrong it all was and come back stronger and better than ever. Instead of sparing you all the insane details of the relationship I went through, I want to share some red flags I have identified throughout the process of recovery. 

  • They focus on all your flaws: Would you want to be around someone who is constantly pointing out the things they don't like about you? Hell no, girl! In my relationship, the guy was always and I mean always, pointing out something he wasn't fond of about me. Eventually, every move I made or word I said, was wrong. I was left feeling pretty shitty. Girl, you deserve someone who knows your flaws, but highlights the things that are amazing about you. You deserve someone who will build you up every. single. day. 
  • They give you the silent treatment: A person who does not communicate when something is wrong should make sirens go off in your head. This is one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship. Now, I understand needing some space or having a day to yourself, but when it becomes days without speaking and texts being unanswered, that is not okay. You should be able to communicate, work out your problems, and move on in a healthy manner. 
  • They are ALWAYS right: It's their way or the high way. When a guy will not compromise to see your side or take a minute to think about how you're feeling he is not good for you. A guy like this will do everything in their power to convince you that they are right and their opinion is the only one that matters. WRONG. You're opinion should be valued and heard just as much as your significant other's. 
  • They want to change things about you: Hello red flag! Someone who doesn't appreciate you for YOU is NOT the right one. Hellooooo... you're an amazing human and a man who truly loves you should not want to change a single thing. The guy I was dating told me I was "too happy and excited about life." Excuse me, sir?! I have worked 24 years on becoming I am the woman I am today and I damn proud of her. Don't you dare let someone water you down or drain your passion towards life. 
  • You suddenly have more stress/anxiety: If you are experiencing additional stress/anxiety and can't quite pin point what's causing it, take a look at your relationship. If you feel down or anxious around your partner, it's usually for a reason. Trust me when I say this, girl. Trust. Your. Gut. Don't ignore it. Our bodies have a way of identifying stress before even our heart or mind. For me personally, when I am overly stressed and my anxiety is out of control, I get severe stomach pains. I can't eat, I have no energy, I feel bloated. Once I got out of my relationship, the symptoms went away like magic. 

All relationships are different and I am not a professional at them at all. However, I have learned what it means to be mentally happy and love yourself endlessly. Ladies, let's come together, believe in ourselves, and support one another. Comment down below, if you have ever experienced an unhealthy relationship. I'd love to hear your stories. 

xo

Image found via pinterest